As the "final" due date approacheth for art and text (June 30, aka tomorrow), your humble editor doth transition from optimist to not-quite-cynical realist. It's very obvious that everything will not make it in overnight -- and currently that means about 40% of the project is still waiting to be realized.

But do not despair! While this (inevitable) delay means it will take a bit longer for PETTY GODS to become a big ol' hardcover book that you can nestle among your manuals and handbooks, I think I can slake your thirst for weird godlets with a little somethin' somethin'.

Originally I wanted to layout the big book and rush it off to the proofers, then eventually get around to breaking PG up into ODD-sized booklet format. Now that things are what they are, it makes sense to do the reverse and start publishing the material I have at hand.

And that's just what I'm up to presently. The first booklet will contain about forty deities, including the work of TSR veterans Erol Otus and James Ward. Here's what the cover looks like:

All the XPG booklets -- I'm thinking we may have six or so -- will be in black and white with some red here and there. I'll do my best to have this up for download soon! Btw that's Matt Schmeer's Tonya on the front cover as depicted by Andrew Walter.


[TV] Brand vs Talking Heads

Bit off-topic here, but I love watching these twits squirm when Russell Brand commandeers their show.


[Sadface] No Free RPG For Me

My FLGS did not participate in Free RPG Day, alas.* The closest stores were up in Syracuse or across the border in Pennsyltucky. And now it turns out that this year's FRPGD was RIFE with controversy! I suppose Better Than Any Man is not yet available in PDF? I would love to see what's so objectionable about it. For those of you who managed to snag a copy -- what's the dirt? How many titties -- exactly -- are we talking about here?

I'm just wondering because there will be a fair amount of boobies and weird sex parts depicted in PETTY GODS. I was planning on doing a reading at Sunday School, but am I to understand that uptight conservative types don't like monster bewbs? 

*And not for any lame reason. I have to give them props because the owner refuses to sell 4E because WotC requires her to sell Magic cards and host Friday Night Magic events. There's no OSR stuff there unfortunately but there is quite a selection of Pathfinder/Paizo products.


Mystery of the Purple Pig

A while back, in the olden days of 2008, Master Jeff o' the Gameblog re-posted this wandering monster chart, originally brought to the attention of the Internets by a member of Dragonsfoot:

One can only speculate as to the nature of those monsters scrawled in by the DM who once owned this copy of Holmes Basic. Sure, we can (probably) safely assume that the "guinea pig (1-4)" was literally a few guinea pigs -- perhaps slightly oversized to suit the dungeon environment. Did they magically charm PCs with their sheer cuddliness? 

But what of the unfamiliar beasts? What of the "map devoerer" [sic]? What of the "purple pig"?

It would be cool to stat up this beastie and give him a proper niche in the dungeon ecosystem. Questions that come to mind:
  • Is the purple pig a sub-variety of the standard surface-world pig?
  • If so, what caused its change in coloration? (Perhaps it eats the spoor of the purple worm?)
  • Do goblins like 'em? Do they eat 'em? Ride 'em? Mate with 'em?
  • If pigs can be trained to sniff out valuable shrooms, what kinda stuff can purple pigs find?


Spook Central

Is it a mockumentary? No idea, but I hope this becomes a thing.


Pay what you want for the Olden Lands

James Mishler Games is dipping its toes into RPGNow's new Pay What You Want feature. For a limited time you can set your own price for the master map of the Olden Lands. For those not in the know -- the Olden Lands are JMG's answer to TSR's Known World, complete with detailed gazetteers and lotsa fodder for referees looking for a nuanced pre-fab setting.

SFWA Bulletin #200 cover by Jeff Easley

I don't see a problem here. Looks like Red just coup de grace'd a giant.

But apparently some chainmail panties are in a twist over it? Meh.


Go Fer Yer Gun is the new Boot Hill

...Or it should be if there is Justice in this plane.

Simon Washbourne's GFYG is a rules-lite D&Dization of the Old West in Old Hollywood dress, complete with an Injun Brave class. It's everything a referee needs to adjudicate adventures in a historical setting, but the freak in me would see it mashed up in a multitude of ways. Images of zombie survivalism on the frontiers of twilit zones dance before mine eyes.

Thanks to the Warlock and his Homebrew for pointing this one out.

Record sheet here.


[Music] "Khaki" by Who Ha

Best chorus ever:
You can call me Khaki cause
Those are the pants I wear
I don't mean to be rude but
I think your hair-
Is lookin real stupid tonight


Petty Goddess: Jexvenna the Despoiler

Created by Dennis Laffey. Art by Rom Brown.

Name: Jexvenna the Despoiler
Symbol: a black weevil
Alignment: Chaotic
Movement: 150' (50')
Armor Class:
Hit Points (Hit Dice): 75 (10HD)
Attacks: 2 claws, 1 bite
Save: Cleric 10
Morale: 9
Hoard Class:
XP: 4,600

Jexvenna the Despoiler is the demon-goddess of hard-tack weevils, hard cheese mold, and the desalination and rehydration of jerky. She presides over the spoilage of tack and other preserved foods, ensuring that despite their long shelf-lives, Entropy always wins in the end. She appears as a large greenish-purple, partially humanoid fungus with insectile wings and several claw-tipped tentacles dangling from the bottom of the fungal stalk. All iron rations, and other preserved foods such as jams or pickled vegetables, spoil within 60' of Jexvenna's presence. Non-preserved foods and water are unaffected. Those eating foods ruined by the Despoiler must Save vs. Poison or suffer from food poisoning, suffering a -2 penalty to attacks, saves and checks for 24 hours, and running the risk of violent retching during periods of excitement. Anyone suffering Jexvenna's food poisoning must make a Save vs. Poison at the beginning of each combat encounter or be unable to act for 1d4 rounds due to vomiting. Jexvenna may cast Clerical spells of levels 1 to 5 at will.

Jexvenna is worshipped by small isolated, suspicious halfling communities of vegan, raw-foodist homebodies, who sacrifice travelers apprehended carrying iron rations into their closed communities. They offer up the travelers and their rations in great bonfires during the new moon, then feast on fresh-picked vegetables and the raw meat of any pack animals used by the travelers. Certain debased elven families have also been found worshiping the demon-goddess.

Jexvenna never answers when her followers call upon her, but she is 1% likely to appear any time an adventurer in the wilderness or a dungeon makes a comment stating how much they actually enjoy eating iron rations (or similar comments). Unless all iron rations and other preserved foods are immediately offered up to her, she attacks until her opponents are dead or her morale fails.